So lately, you’ve found your mind frequently drifting to the topic of divorce. Perhaps you’re not even sure yet whether you want a divorce, but for one reason or another, the thought keeps popping into your head. Of course, nobody jumps headfirst into divorce without giving the matter a good deal of thought, but — as an advisor points out — while many people put a lot of effort into asking all the right questions before deciding to get married, few approach divorce with the same methodical line of thinking.
A big part of this is probably because, by the time you’re considering ending your marriage, you’re likely already under a good bit of stress and feeling rather emotional. It’s hard to remain calm and systematic under such circumstances. However, advisors suggest that asking the right questions before divorcing typically proves worthwhile and could help you realize you’d like to work on your marriage. Even if you eventually still decide that splitting up is for the best, considering certain questions may help to make your divorce more amicable.
Asking the right questions
A group of experts and advisors pooled their knowledge gleaned over the years to compose a list of considerations for when you find yourself thinking of ending your marriage. These questions may help you take a good look at your relationship and even if you ultimately still decide that a divorce is right for you, you can take comfort knowing that you approached the process rationally, as well as likely making for more civil divorce proceedings from beginning to end.
- Do you still love your spouse or would you be happier without him or her? — Taking a realistic look at your spouse’s strengths and weaknesses and your own priorities in a partner may help you realize that staying married is, in fact, what you’d prefer. Conversely, even if your answer is yes, you still love your partner, that doesn’t mean that staying married is the right option for you, but it may help you proceed more amicably with divorce proceedings.
- Have you communicated your concerns about the relationship? If so, are both of you willing to make an effort to save your marriage? — Having a frank discussion and clearly stating your issues — even if you feel you’ve done so in the past — can help you and your spouse realize where one or both of you may be able to make more of an effort. You can take the opportunity to examine whether you’re prepared to take these steps.
- What is your biggest fear in ending your marriage? — This is a big one, because you may realize that you’re only staying married because of an unspoken worry, such as feeling scared of being alone. Realizing your fear may help you move past it and aid in deciding whether divorcing is the best way for you to move forward.
If, after considering these questions and your feelings on the matter, you still decide that divorce is your best option, you’ll want to start looking at the realities of day-to-day life and preparing for the future, especially financially. Luckily, there are professionals in the Knoxville area who can give you legal advice on how to start. You’ll also want to begin preparing to take over matters and chores that your spouse handled during the marriage, such as bill paying or tax preparation.
Find the support you need
If it’s possible to do so, consulting financial advisors and a legal professional will help give you some idea of the costs you’ll be facing. From there, you can begin creating a budget and preparing for the financial realities of your new life. Ultimately, whether you decide you’d like to give your marriage another shot or you realize that divorce is the best option for everyone involved, you’ll be able to tell yourself that you did everything you could to work toward a more stable future.